The Monthly #4: Reflections & January 2021

A few days late for my January monthly post but here we are now! So how did the new month of the new year ended?

I get FB notifications of when I posted “confused” as my status back in 2011 and makes me cringe as to what was I thinking! lol but in my defense, I was just a young and naive student trying to find the light at the end of the tunnel.

Fast forward 10 years and now I feel a bit wiser and older. I mean I have managed to look after my parent for a whole year in this pandemic and forgive for things I thought she was to blame. There are still times, I disagree with her pov but in the end, I’ve come to realize that I’m lucky to have this opportunity to be with her in these tough times.

That being said, life is somewhat still “confusing” as my status back in 2011 because of this pandemic, and vaccine roll-out drama. I had invited my mum to visit me for 3 months back in March 2020 and extended it to a year because I couldn’t let her go back in these wild times. Now that her visa is coming to expiry, she wants to go back to Nepal and I was saying maybe go after the vaccine but the problem is we don’t know when we are going to get the vaccine here in Melbourne and even if the vaccine does roll out, priority will be given to the elderly citizens, frontline workers, etc and she is on visitor visa so will probably be at the end which means after the visa expiry date. On the other hand, Nepal has started the vaccine rollout already!

In terms of travel in January, I needed to get away on my own for a bit. so, I left to travel to Tasmania solo. I was worried if she will be okay as this was the first time I had left her at my place by herself for more than a day. So, I called every night and made sure she was doing fine. As in every relationship, when you are together 24/7 chances are you may get into each other nerves so, being away for 10 days was refreshing for my independence and for hers too.

Here is the 10 days Tasmania itinerary if you want to check it out.

Reflections

So, on this monthly post I also wanted to share, few things I have learned and relearned from living with my mum in this pandemic

Be Dependent On You

No matter what happens, look after your health and be financially independent. So you will never have to depend on a man or anyone else even if you are married or not. This mindset has helped and shaped my life so much and I thank her for it.

Be Sustainable

While grocery shopping, my mum would pick the ones that are rough looking or would die in a few days. Why? Her answer was if we don’t buy them it goes to waste because they throw them out. If only we could have that mentality of saving the planet! Daily actions that help you become sustainable is another thing I learned. As an example, I would throw out shopping bags after every trip to coles (grocery store), knowing there will be new ones next time but now, I’ve been using the same ones for months and I’ve invested in one of those permanent small wheely bags too!

Make Time For Your Family

I notice her hair is going greyer, the fine lines on her face are increasing, her beautiful skin is sagging and her body has gone smaller….It saddens my heart to see my mum is getting old and there is nothing I can do to stop it naturally. (besides encouraging her to be healthy. ) So I look at the positive side, her spirit! I love how it doesn’t take a lot for her to smile and be happy. She is a light that brightens up any room…. Sometimes I wish my dad was here too but he’s in heaven…such is life.
All that to say, if you still have your parents, siblings, or someone you count as family, try spending time with them, a phone call, a walk in the park, whatever it is, cherish those moments. Life is short..

How to cook perfect Nepali meals

This one was a big one for me and I am so glad I learned it, now I can cook a perfect Thakali meal and all the other Nepali dishes I like. If you know me, I would always order in from a Nepali restaurant if I was craving something Nepali but no more, I think I’ve mastered the art;)

Parenting is not for me

Spending time with my mum also helped me clearly understand how it can feel rewarding to have your own kids but the responsibility of parenting little humans to become a good person would be monumental and heavy. At this stage in my life, it just reiterates the fact that, looking after myself emotionally, mentally, and physically is a lot of work as is, I just don’t have time or mental space for having my own kids. I also think there are a lot of people in this world popping babies out like it’s no big deal! I mean if you can’t provide them with education, proper growing up environment why would you bring a human being in this world to suffer! If I ever change my mind, there are millions of kids who need a home and maybe adoption will be an option. After all family isn’t always blood, it’s can also be who you choose to call your family.

Patience is key

Another thing I learned while living with my mum this year is the ability to wait for something without getting angry or upset which is a valuable quality in a person. She is such a resilient person with a wonderful smile that will melt your heart and a woman who sacrificed her whole life to look after her family. As an example, with the pandemic going on we weren’t able to travel around as I had initially planned for us, but she wasn’t upset at all. While I had a couple of mental breakdowns even though we did end up going on a couple of trips!

You see as a solo female traveler, one of my goals in life is to travel all the countries in the world but this pandemic hasn’t helped at all. It is an understatement when I say practicing patience has been arduous but my mum’s undying patience for life has been rubbing off on me. We may not agree on all things but I think her being here in these mad times has been an absolute blessing.